Choices

There are a lot of circumstances we cannot control in our lives. We cannot control the decisions that other people make, we cannot control how people treat us on a daily basis, and we cannot control sudden death, illness, or if we are laid off. Despite these painful circumstances, there is still a lot left in our lives that we can control. We can choose to support our loved ones even when they are making decisions we do not agree with (as long as they are being safe). We can choose to treat people with the same kindness and respect that we would like to see reciprocated to us. We can tell people how much we love them and how much they mean to us even with just a quick text message. We can make healthy lifestyle choices such as eating well and exercising. We can work our hardest at our jobs even when we are exhausted. We can forgive, empathize, and do our best to remain resilient in situations that cause us pain.

Today I choose to hold the door for the person behind me, and I choose to say "thank you" to the person who hands me my meal in the food court. Even little choices like these make a big difference. Choose wisely.

Why We Should STOP Defending the Fact That We Are Education Majors

“Why I’m An Education Major,”

“Why I Choose To Be An Education Major,”

“Why I’m Proud to Be An Education Major,”

“A Letter To Everyone Who Isn’t An Education Major.”

These are all titles of popular articles that I see shared on my Facebook newsfeed multiple times a week.

Why do we as future educators feel the need to justify our chosen career path every minute of the day? Why do we apologize so much about the fact that we have chosen to become teachers? I’m not sure. Education is a field dominated by women, and a proven tendency that we as women have is to constantly apologize. Regardless of the gender we identify as, we need to stop. We need to own our decisions and choices. We do not have to justify what we love to do.

To everyone who reads, shares, and writes these articles, I’m not criticizing you. I get where you’re coming from. The content of these articles is familiar to me because I’m an Education major as well. I’ve been an education major since I started college and have wanted to be a teacher since my junior year of high school.

I get what you all are saying when you get enraged at someone’s criticism of your career path, especially when it is a field you are so passionate about. I understand how annoying it can be when people make ignorant comments to you about the salary you’re going to be earning, as if that is your main motivation. I also understand that you want so badly to change a system that has been seen by many as broken for a long time. However, what I don’t understand is why we continue to waste our time writing and sharing articles trying to tell all of these people that their opinions about our chosen profession are wrong.

As the cliché says, actions speak louder than words. You can write and share countless articles defending your career path to others, but in reality, that will do nothing. All that does is give people the satisfaction that their comments bothered you enough to take the time to articulate a response to it. You do not owe it to others to defend your career path. The only way you can prove those people who try to discourage you wrong is by standing in your truth and walking your talk.

Standing in our truth looks different from educator to educator. You might be thinking to yourself, “How do I know what my truth is?” To be honest, I cannot give you a definition of your truth, only you can do that. To me, I define my truth by what I value, my boundaries, and the people I surround myself with. As a teacher, being aware of these is essential. For me, I value a student’s persistence and progress in learning a difficult concept rather than how well they end up performing on the test. I value their kindness, resilience, and integrity rather than their grades on essays. I value their ability to work and learn from each other in a respectful manner rather than their ability to listen to me drone on and on in a lecture.

I only surround myself with people who are supportive of my chosen career path. I have no time to spend on people who are trying to discourage me, and you shouldn’t either.

Your truth probably looks different than mine, and I’m happy for that. Maybe your truth is teaching elementary school students to say please, thank you, and to listen to each other. Or maybe it is teaching middle schoolers how to work through conflicts with peers. Or maybe it is seeing the lightbulb moment, and the joy in a student’s eyes when they understand a new concept. Maybe you do not know your truth yet because you’re still learning, and that is okay too. We’re all still trying to figure it out. Once you find it, whatever your truth as an educator may be, let it shine through in all of your interactions with your students. Stand firm in this truth even when you are exhausted and feeling defeated by policy, procedures, testing, and circumstances that are out of your control.

So stop sharing articles such as, “Why I’m Tired of Defending the Fact that I’m an Education Major,” and start proving to those who question you and try to discourage you why you are going to be the best teacher you can be in an often frustrating system. Remember your truth and let it guide you past the negative opinions of others. You can do it.

Then There's Another Day

There will be a moment that you look back and it will not cause you pain anymore. You will not tear up, you will not get angry, and you will not get that awful knot in the pit of your stomach. You will look yourself in the mirror and say, "I made it." That's when you realize it.

At one point you were so broken you couldn't even say his name or look at a picture of him. Some nights you were walking into your best friend's room, falling on the floor, and crying hysterically for hours. During the day you were coming out of the shower, falling to the floor in your robe, and sobbing uncontrollably. You sobbed  so long that day that your friends had to pick you up and dress you themselves...literally. Every day you were so depressed that you hated your life, yourself, and no longer wanted to live. Then something happened.

Then there's another day. One day, like nothing, you find yourself willingly looking back, and you realize that, all of a sudden, you can look at pictures, reminisce, and feel that one sensation in your heart that you searched months for: peace. That's when you know you're not a victim of heartbreak and depression. You're a warrior who has rebuilt herself stronger than ever before. You woke up every day, fought, and won. Congratulations.

You are allowed

You are allowed to feel any emotion that overcomes you in any instance. You are allowed to be bitter and angry if someone hurts your feelings and betrays you. You are allowed to feel uneasy when you have made a mistake. You are allowed to feel proud when you achieve something you have worked so hard for. You are allowed to feel inspired and invigorated when you engage in your greatest work. You are allowed to, and will, feel uncomfortable when practicing vulnerability.

It is okay to cry out of sadness and pain, just like it is okay to shed tears of joy. We're human. The ability to feel and express emotion is one of our greatest assets. Enjoy the emotions that make you feel good. For the emotions that make you feel not so good, work through them, understand their source, and address them in a way specific to your needs so that you can, eventually, let them go. However, be patient with yourself. Remember that feeling and expressing certain emotions is by no means easy, and that's okay.

I Believe In

I believe in loaning your friends money, even if there is no guarantee that they will pay you back.
I believe in hoping that people have a great night, even if they might not leave you a tip on the table.
I believe in running outside, even while snow remains on the ground from a long winter.
I believe in breakfast at any hour of the day, and homemade meals that make our bellies so full...even if your pants fit too tight afterwards.
I believe in laughing with your best friend over the fact that neither of you have your lives together, even if you both act like you do all the time.
I believe in the healing magic of sports, for both the fans and the players, even if you just lost a game.
I believe in the freedom of singing loudly, regardless of how you sound.
I believe in telling the people you love just how much you really do love them daily, even if they get tired of hearing it.
I believe in the peace and stillness after a deep breath in the midst of chaotic moments.
I believe in the power of unconditional love, no matter how many times you've been hurt by the world.

The Truth About Heartache

"You know what, tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive, because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there, there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for." -Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

Although One Tree Hill is only my most recent Netflix obsession, it's taught me something. At this point in the series, I can relate to Nathan Scott's pain. He was right. Bad things are going to happen to us in our lives. It's inevitable. Sometimes we're going to leave people we love, for one reason or another. Other times, people we love are going to leave us. Both are going to hurt like hell, and both are going to be a loss.

The world is going to break your heart a million times in a million ways. Our hearts break for all kinds of reasons. Whether a loved one passes away, a friend abuses drugs or alcohol, someone you know gets diagnosed with a terminal illness, or your ex-boyfriend moves onto another girl...it's heartbreak. Whatever your reason, your heart is allowed to break. With every break comes a new lesson.

Although it's not the best feeling in the world, heartbreak is authentic, real feeling. It reminds us we're alive. You don't have to put on a happy face for anyone, why should you? Being heartbroken, for whatever reason, is real. It shows that you're not afraid to love and let people in. That's something to be proud of. Letting yourself be heartbroken is noble too. When your heart breaks, you become vulnerable. It is at our most vulnerable, honest moments that we experience the most growth. You are not weak or any less of a person because of it. You're human.

I like to think that letting yourself feel the pain of heartbreak is pretty damn admirable. It will only make you stronger.

Trust Love

In college, I learned how I know I can trust someone.

I used to be a naturally trusting person. No one ever needed to earn my trust, I gave it away freely. Unfortunately I have also learned that people take advantage of that sometimes. Now I know that not all those who I come in contact with are deserving of my trust, and that is okay. Those just are not the kind of people that will help me grow in this life because it seems that they are not looking out for my emotional safety (Shout out to Jackie Cunningham for teaching me that this summer <3).

The people who I can trust are those who are looking out for my emotional safety by holding me accountable. Whether I am held accountable for basic things like, "Did you go to the gym today like you said you wanted to?" or, "You should go to that meeting for that new club you have been wanting to join." Also, there are moments when I am humbled; I am held accountable for deeper things such as looking out for my own emotional safety. Statements such as, "Emily, stop taking naps and go do something," or, "Emily, you're not over it. Talk to me about it," or sometimes even, "Don't do that to yourself, you'll only make it worse," cause introspection and remind me to take care of myself and not judge my negative emotions.

Trust those who make you talk about what is bothering you and support you when you do so.
Trust those who prompt your smile and your laughter.
Trust those who drag you out of bed and tell you to get a grip when you're whining too much.
Trust those who surround you with kindness and love you even on your sad days.
Trust those who forgive you for being a grouch.
Trust those who do not judge you for your feelings, positive or negative.
Trust those who remind you that everything happens for a reason.
Trust those who help you come out of your dark days stronger than ever.
Trust those who keep you physically and emotionally safe.
Trust love.